I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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