..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I am one with the molecules
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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