Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize