great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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