Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
