Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
