if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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