I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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