And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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