She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just forgot I was standing up.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
