I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
