Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize