DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
