Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
