So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
