Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize