Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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