How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize