It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
