i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
