16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
