well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize