i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
