No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
