I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
