READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
