I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
