I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
