Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
