PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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