I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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