I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
