Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
