Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
