How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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