with your own penis?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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