I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
