you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
