Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
