It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize