I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
