don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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