It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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