am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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