Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
