The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
