Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
