he wants to bone in the snuggie
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
