Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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