Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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