Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize