It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
