meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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