She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize