FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
