Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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