That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
