DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
