Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
