I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
