The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
