Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
