now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't think brook has ever known best
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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