Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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