i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
