He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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