So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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