I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize