You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
