So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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