i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize