My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
