How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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