i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
