Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
