jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
