i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
