no, he came in my armpit
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
